Learning, Loving, and Laughing: Tender Mercies and Spontaneous Dance Parties

A few nights ago I had a dream that had a really big impact on me. In this dream I was home in Oregon and I was at my grandparent's with all of my family members. My aunts, uncles, and cousins were all there and the dream seemed very realistic. In the dream my family members were all asking me about my time in Romania and I was enthusiastically telling them all about my kids. I was telling them that I still had two more weeks to spend time with them, when all of a sudden I realized that I was already home in Oregon. In my dream I started to panic. Where did my last two weeks go? I should still have time with my kids. I never got to say goodbye. How will they know how much I love them? I had a pretty dramatic meltdown at the realization that my final two weeks here in Romania had disappeared and I did not get the chance to say my final goodbye's.
When I woke up from my dream I remembered the details pretty vividly. I was very upset and thought about how horrible of a dream it was. And how awful it would be if it actually came true. After pondering this dream all day and sharing it with some of the other girls here, I came to the realization that my dream was actually a huge blessing. It gave me perspective that I was too afraid to gain on my own. I did not want to allow myself to think that I would be leaving my kids for forever in fourteen days. That I only had ten more opportunities to walk into that wonderful room to be greeted by their beautiful faces. That I would only get to visit the hospital three more times and see my kids at the apartments one final time on Tuesday. I had been avoiding reality and all of the pain and sadness and finality that it held. This dream opened the gates to it all and allowed me to see clearly that my time in Romania is quickly coming to an end and, more importantly, helped me understand the significance of that.
When I return home to America, I don't want to wonder where my final two weeks went. I want to make my final moments with my kids count. I want to be able to properly say goodbye to each and every one of them. And I do not want any of my kids to doubt the extreme amount of love that I hold for them. So I made myself a promise. For my last two weeks I am going to make every moment count. I will memorize the dimples in the cheeks of their smiling faces and the sound of each unique giggle that escapes each of their mouths. I will show extra interest and excitement in the small victories that my kids achieve each and every day. I will be extra helpful for the workers in the orphanage to help lighten the load for them. I want to leave Romania with no regrets and with the knowledge that I did everything I could to help my kids before I left.
This promise extends beyond the orphanage. I also want to embrace the culture here in Romania as much as I can before I leave. Before I came here I did not know much about Romania and it was not a significant country to me. However, I can confidently leave here considering it my second home. I have grown to love the people and the places and even the annoyingly obnoxious pigeons that are literally everywhere. This past week was National Day in Romania which is like their Independence Day. They turned on all of the Christmas lights around the city and had music playing and shops set up everywhere. We went out to see it all one night and as I was walking along the streets with all of the locals, I couldn't help but feel joy and love towards them all. We bought mini Romanian flags and waved them all around the city showing our Romanian pride. I will cherish that little flag for a long time.
One thing that I have missed more than I thought I would while living in Romania is singing and dancing and rocking out to music. At home, I love having spontaneous dance parties and rocking out to music in my car whenever I have to drive somewhere. I have not had any opportunities to do this in Romania UNTIL this past week. I was at one of the apartments with another girl and we were hanging out and playing with four kids between the ages of one and five. We had about fifteen minutes until we had to leave and the worker put on some music for us to dance to. Usually the music is in Romanian or children's music that is impossible to dance to. However, this time it was real music that I could totally rock out to! I started dancing and the kids sorta just sat there and looked at me like I was crazy at first but soon they joined in and we started our own little full-on dance party. I scooped up one of the boys and we were bouncing around the room while I pulled out my best moves. As the room filled up with excitement and laughter, my heart was filling up with love and joy.
As I was leaving the apartment, I came to the realization that this was my last time at this specific apartment and that I would have to say my final goodbye's. I gave them each a big hug and a kiss, said "bu bye" and left the apartment with nothing but good memories and a saddened but full heart. I have come to recognize that there are so many small tender mercies around us that we need to do a better job at recognizing and appreciating. They can be as simple as a spontaneous dance party with toddlers, a hug from a child you thought was afraid of you, or even a bad dream that gives you some needed perspective. So what are some small tender mercies that you have received lately? I promise that if you take the time to think about it, you can find tender mercies almost anywhere. And if you can't think of any, I recommend having a spontaneous dance party with some toddlers. It's bound to bring a smile to your face and that in itself is one of the greatest tender mercies of all.