Learning, Loving, and Laughing: Preparing for My Final Goodbye

God is real. And God is good. The best way for me to describe this past week is a whirlwind of emotions. At the beginning of the week I was thinking about how hard it would be for me to say goodbye to my kiddos. How much I would miss this entire experience, both the good and the bad. I knew that as this weekend came closer, my emotions would get deeper. I knew that I would want to stay forever and couldn't bare the thought of leaving. Well, God knew it too. I prayed for help getting through this week and He answered my prayers in a few different ways.
The first answered prayer came on Monday. My roommates and I all woke up with a bunch of bites all over our arms and legs that itched like none other. The doctor informed us that we must have a flea infestation. A few days later we found a huge cockroach sitting in the middle of our kitchen. None of my roommates were brave enough to deal with it so I was the lucky girl who got to pick up and flush the cockroach down the toilet. However, apparently they float and so it wouldn't flush! So I had to scoop it out of the toilet (with the toilet scrub brush) and fold it in toilet paper so it would go down. It was a rather proud moment of mine and I have video footage of the whole ordeal but it won't let me upload so just ask me in person next week if you really want to see it.
Another way that my prayers were answered is the food situation here. I am definitely not a picky eater and I will eat or drink pretty much anything you put in front of me except licorice or milk. So although the food here is not ideal, I haven't had a problem eating it. However, once Monday came it was like a switch was flipped. I can barely eat any of the food they bring. Even the meals that I semi-enjoyed before taste gross. I never want to see cabbage ever again. At first I was annoyed with myself because I was so hungry all of the time! And I wanted so badly to just have normal food. Like Kraft Mac and Cheese. I hate Mac and Cheese out of the box but that is the one thing from home that I have missed the most. That and chocolate milkshakes. And Taco Bell.
The final answer to my prayers occurred Tuesday afternoon while I was at the orphanage. I was feeding one of the little guys who is severely disabled and needs to be bottle fed. I laid him down on my lap so this head was resting on my legs and I had my head bent over smiling at him while I tried to get him to eat whatever questionable substance they put in the bottle. All of a sudden he coughed really loud and the only way I can describe what happened is this: imagine that his mouth was a whale's spout and instead of water coming out of the spout it was the entire contents of this little three year old boys stomach. So before I could even process what had happened, I was covered in throw up along with the poor boys face, my entire lap, my arms, the bed we were sitting on, and the poor little girl who was innocently sitting nearby. My first instinct was to yell for Katie (who was in the other room feeding another kid) to come and help. Then one of the workers came in and ran over and was trying to wipe it off of me the best she could while saying "sorry" over and over again. Soon after I was able to go and clean myself up and change into another set of scrubs but I was quite the scene before that. But I can now say that I have been projectile vomited on by a child so it brings me one step closer to motherhood. Sorry for the gross details but believe it or not I held back on most of them.
These may not seem like answers to prayers but they made me have a bigger desire to go home to Oregon where there are no cockroaches and my chances of getting fleas and lice and other nasty bug infestations are very limited. Where Taco Bell is a short drive away, and Mac and Cheese can be bought and prepared in less than an hour. Where I won't have to worry everyday about whether I'll get bit, slobbered all over, or spit up on by my kids. Each night this week I would climb into my springy bed with scratchy blankets and count down the hours until I can be in my own warm bed at home.
So now that you probably think I am a heartless person for looking forward to returning to my home, let me save my reputation. Yes, living in a foreign country is hard. Yes, I miss my friends and family. Yes, I can't wait until I can communicate with strangers again. But even after God sent me gross bugs, uncomfortable living situations, food that makes me sick, and even projectile vomit, leaving Romania will be the hardest thing I have ever experienced. The goodbye that is about to occur is worse than every single trial I have had to go through combined. I have tried to keep myself occupied this week and my mind filled with thoughts not related to the reality that is about to hit me head-on. Tomorrow will be full of heartache, tears, sadness, and many many hugs and kisses as I say goodbye to my kids for forever. Nevertheless I am thankful that I have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. I know that God sent me here to these angels and that he will help me get through parting from them. Because God is real. And God is good.