Letting the Love Live On

When I was in Romania I loved writing my blog posts. I looked forward to them every week. Not only was I eager to share all of my crazy adventures and brag about my wonderful babies and experiences, but I loved the simple act of writing. It was a passion I discovered in Europe, but did not bring home with me when I returned to America. Since then I often think about writing blogs and get excited when I actually sit down and pull up a blank page. However, I soon get overwhelmed, or underwhelmed, about what to write about, and instead of releasing my many thoughts and ideas, I give up and close the computer. In Romania, I had an easy focus and often found myself refraining from pouring out pages upon pages of writing. Now, I feel as though my life is extremely ordinary and my writing would just be a summary of my boring life events. I still think that every day brings an adventure, but they are adventures that only myself and Tyler embark on and I’m afraid that no one else would find them interesting. So, I decided to return to my old focus and incorporate the lessons I learned in Romania to my life now. Each week or two I will try to think of a new lesson that I learned in Romania and share it with you all about how it is now influencing my life. I always said that I wanted the influence that my kids had on me to have an influence on the whole world, and this is one way that I can help make that happen. And, since a few weeks ago marked my two year reunion of meeting the kids I worked with-I figured the timing was perfect.

The first lesson:  Be thankful for literally everything you have.

For those of you who did not get to read my posts about the kids in the orphanage I worked in, I will give a short summary. Almost all of the kids have disabilities. Many have multiple disabilities and some do not even have their sight or hearing. I still remember the feeling I would get when I would simply place my hand on their tummies and see the brightest and most joyful smile appear on their face. Or when one of the girls was learning how to walk on her own and after taking each step would look up into my face and show me how proud she was and seek praise with her eyes because it was her only form of communication. Not only did I have a language barrier with the kids, but a communication barrier of every other kind except for smiles and giggles that they would reward me with. Other than a lack of communication, these kids also had a lack of clothing, toys, families, and most importantly: love. Spending my time with them made me realize how thankful I should be for literally everything I have in my life. When I returned home I thought about how grateful I was to be living in the United States and made a point to appreciate everything I have been blessed with.

Each day I find myself thinking about my kids and how much I miss them. These thoughts remind me to be thankful for what I have and to appreciate them more openly. So in honor of them, here are some things that I am thankful for this week:

1. I am thankful for a home that I get to share with my wonderful husband. We just recently moved to Provo and although it is not as nice as where we were previously living, I couldn't help but constantly think about how I am thankful that it has a working washer, does not have a crazy bird living in my pantry, and does not have exploding pipes in the kitchen (read some of my first few posts of living in Romania for those stories). And I will FOREVER be thankful that it has a working toilet. I will always be thankful for a working toilet.

2. I am thankful that I was able to get an education and have an amazing job. I complained about school a lot. I wanted to be done and move on to the more exciting parts of my life. But now that I am done with school, a part of me misses it. I think about all of the things I learned and experiences I was able to have and the people I was able to meet. In fact, if it wasn't for school, I would not have gone to Romania. So really, I will forever be thankful for school. My schooling also allowed me to find my job. I love working with the students that I work with now. In a way I feel as though I am honoring my kids in Romania. I am drawn to children who struggle with communicating and learning and I want so badly to help them. I saw it in Romania, and now I get to see it every single day and hopefully make a difference in their lives. My kids in Romania will never have the opportunity to attend school, meet new people, and have those life experiences that come with it. Thinking about this makes my heart break and I want to live life to the fullest simply because I have the ability to do that when I know so many others don't.

3. I am thankful for food. This one you may think is silly because I've always said I was thankful for food in the past, but I am REALLY thankful for food after Romania. I am thankful that I can cook whatever I want to in a fully equipped kitchen whenever I want. I am thankful that we have so many choices of fast food that I can drive to within 10 minutes. But first and foremost, I am thankful that cabbage is a rarely used and easily avoidable in the American diet.

4. Most importantly, I am thankful for family. Seeing my kids find joy in life through the simple things would always make me smile. However, my heart always ached for them knowing that they would never know the true joy of having a family and feeling their love. My family has always supported me and loved me unconditionally. My husband does so much for me and makes me feel confident and loved. My new family in law has accepted me and loved me as their own. And my many friends have shown their support and appreciation for me as well. I cannot think of words to express how thankful I am for all of them, but I only hope that I can show my love and appreciation for my family and friends in my life. So from my very full heart: to all of my friends and family reading this- THANK YOU! Thank you for reading my posts when I was in Romania and thank you for humoring me long enough to read the one's since and letting my beautiful kids in Romania continue to influence you for the better.

So this week try and think about something you are thankful for. One of my favorite quotes is, "Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder". I know it can be difficult on those harder days to find something to be thankful for. Even if the positive event is simply making someone else smile, or being able to eat your favorite candy bar, it is worth being thankful for.